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Rants.
07-23-2012, 05:16 AM
Post: #211
RE: Rants.
I can't stand seeing the person I love in pain. He's grieving at the moment and I hate knowing that he's upset but I know it's gunna happen and I can't do anything about it Sad

I hate the summer so much, it's supposed to make people happy but I dread the summer every year and have done for 6 years. The bad stuff that's happened outweighs all the good.

Life isn't fair and it just sucks atm.

MOJP<3
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09-03-2012, 12:54 AM
Post: #212
RE: Rants.
I miss you so much it hurts all of the time, and even though I lost you for good and sorry's will never be enough, I'm sorry...

i like that you're a mess, that's what makes you real
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09-17-2012, 03:26 AM (This post was last modified: 09-17-2012 03:35 AM by Stephanie.)
Post: #213
RE: Rants.
So I just had the day to end all days lol. Not even a bad day just odd.

I finally got my bf Michael's mom to come around and be decent to me. I've been with him for nearly two years and it's taken til now for her to even respect me in the least. She started talking cause I believe she wanted some info on him from me. I am iffy on doing it cause his family has a tendency to be creepy sneaky. There's a reason he's no longer in Atlanta.

So it was his 27th birthday today the 16th and anyway his mom has been talking to me for the past few weeks about wanting to send him money so I can take him out for her to get him a STEAK dinner. Not whatever he wanted....she demanded he get a STEAK dinner. That is like super nice....but here's the catch. She dictated where I was gonna take him and what he was going to order! She did it in that weird way where she kept asking daily where I was going to take him and surprise him. She sent me a card to read to him and it was a guilt trip card about how she never sees him. The other issue is that I already had planned I was making him dinner. I know him and he said he did not want to go out and eat or do anything so I made him dinner and we ate it at the park. I kept it low key and let him have his day anyway he wanted it. He just got laid off from his job and he wanted rest so I let him have it and made him a nice dinner.

I finally told Michael last night that his mom gave me money and read him the card early. He was like WTF and with my grandma's help (she can't stand his mom even though she's never met the woman) we told Michael it was his money to spend however he wanted. Normally I'd be very happy to do this but her approach was so uncalled for that I was literally told by Michael to lie so she wouldn't keep asking.

We do intend to go to dinner but not in one day were we going to have a huge steak dinner and then have my dinner and desert too. (She wanted us later on to have a steak lunch....I didn't even know u could have one in most places I live).

I feel odd but it's my bf's family and his mom and him do not get along. She spammed his fb with his baby pics and kept calling all day wondering what we were doing. She started fighting with Michael for no reason and just creeping the heck out of both of us. He eventually stopped answering her calls which btw she brought up to me. She said the other day "Michael never answers my texts or calls but that's alright, I ONLY GAVE HIM LIFE!" She yells that he won't go back to college and get a "real" job. She wants him in the CIA and won't stop until he does.

He had to ask her last night to lay off on the questions with me because it was making me uncomfortable since he's a private guy who I literally have to lie or pretend I either agree or have no idea what she's talking about just so nothing I say can be held against me. I don't like lying and he knows that so he told her to lay off or he was going to get mad. Conversations are nice but not when I feel like I'm being interrogated constantly. If I were to mention this she'd just get so butt hurt I'd probably be attacked by the rest of the family because she has "thyroid and depression problems" Honestly I don't buy it but that's just me. My mom already went off on her for yelling at me over fb so everyone could see a few months ago. She also went off on me last year at Applebees because I let Michael take me places instead of taking my own car when we go out. She talked to my mom on the phone to tell her she feels I'm too young for her son. Then she later on facebooked my mom to tell her that she "raised HER sons with manners and expects them to behave a certain way and lately Michael hasn't." Basically saying she feels that I'm not good enough for her son.

It's sad. While his grandma and some ex grandpa of his asked about me and how I was doing and then asked when we're getting married, his mom continues to trash talk Michael as if in hopes of me stupidly going "Oh I guess ur right ur son is garbage. Well I guess since u say so I'll dump him." That's what she wants and it's sick. Takes on a whole new meaning for monster in law. We've already stopped communicating with some of his family for the things they have done to Michael and I since we started dating. I've never known such a messed up family and they HATE me or they love me. I've literally created a divide in his family because if an aunt likes me another one won't speak to her sister because that aunt hates me.

People have told me "Oh kill his mom with kindness. Make her like you by being nice. Just put up with her." Basically in order to make her "like" me I have to agree with all of her bashing towards her son....the man I LOVE. I tell Michael that I don't always agree and he's okay with it but we hate lying. It's easier this way though. She tries to dictate our lives all the way from Georgia and she tells me daily she wants him to come back home. How is that supposed to make me feel when she disregards my college education, my intelligence, my love for her son. She never asks how I am or even stops to realize that maybe I'd like to have a good relationship with my future mother in law. I'd like for my kids to like their grandma but when she is so unstable and mean to me and her own son, I don't trust her to hold her tongue around my sweet babies if I'm not driven to insanity by her before they are born.

So to end this long rant, Michael took the money he wanted that his mom gave me to pay for his dinner and bought himself a video game. I told him it was up to him and he deserved a good day and I had to work extra hard to make him feel special today since his mom tried at least 3 different times just today over the phone to ruin it for him. People think I'm exaggerating and probably think I'm just so snotty brat gf who thinks I can step in and control his family. So far from the truth. I have dealt with and heard of hard to love people but I've never encountered a mother who is so odd. I'm actually not allowed to really tell her how I feel either because she'd have an impossible time getting it and it would be too much stress for me if she turns on me. I couldn't just say "Ya know I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't talk so negatively about your son. I love him and it hurts me to hear you speak this way." She'd blow up and tell the entire family I told her to go die and harass me and probably start crying and telling Michael I was horrid to her. She'd twist it so I looked bad and since enough of his family hates me, she'd win.

We had a good birthday for him but it was despite all his mom's attempts to hurt us and ruin it for him.


It's funny, aside from like big arguments about important stuff.....our only real fights are the differing options our families have towards our relationship. My family loves Michael and already considers him family while his mom harasses me, his dad pretends he doesn't know me and his brother spaces out and then flirts haha. He's a nice kid though.

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09-21-2012, 04:00 PM
Post: #214
RE: Rants.
Everything right now is about my sister. Every. Single. Thing.
just because she was stupid and got herself knocked up.. on PURPOSE! seriously.
I keep being bullied by her and my mum, who thinks i'm a liar, when i'm telling the truth. she said she'll take me into college to see if they can help me with a course or something so I can get the ball rolling and actually make a step to getting what I need to get into Uni. That was Monday, it's now Friday. It was her idea to go in there, and i've been asking all week and all I keep getting is 'we'll go later.' if that was my sister, she would go the day she said it! I talk about my chosen career [Primary School Teacher] and all I get is 'oh right.' or half smiles. But if that was my sister, she would get proper answers.
No wonder I keep things to myself. I wish the person who said to me 'you know where to find me' if I ever needed to talk was there. Sadly he's not, any more. He's in a different job now, and I'm no longer on that course. I miss him.
i'm sick of it. all of it.
i really need to get out of this house for a while, as it's driving me crazy. I really can't take any more of it. )':

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09-24-2012, 04:30 PM
Post: #215
RE: Rants.
Had a bad day my cat who was 17 got put to sleep today we knew it was coming because he has arthritis in his back legs and he was slowly losing the ability to walk properly. Then last night me and my mum had noticed his mouth had swollen and we knew it was time to say goodbye so today we said our goodbyes, I've been crying on and off all day. He was my baby boy I've had him since I was four so it's going to be weird for a while.

I wish we could have kept him but it would have been cruel and selfish so it was the best thing for him. I'm just going to miss him like crazy.

MOJP<3
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09-24-2012, 06:29 PM
Post: #216
RE: Rants.
(09-24-2012 04:30 PM)puckleberryftwx Wrote:  Had a bad day my cat who was 17 got put to sleep today we knew it was coming because he has arthritis in his back legs and he was slowly losing the ability to walk properly. Then last night me and my mum had noticed his mouth had swollen and we knew it was time to say goodbye so today we said our goodbyes, I've been crying on and off all day. He was my baby boy I've had him since I was four so it's going to be weird for a while.

I wish we could have kept him but it would have been cruel and selfish so it was the best thing for him. I'm just going to miss him like crazy.

Aw, I'm so sorry. D:

At least you know he'll be in a better place where he can play all day. My thoughts to you.

Once a stone heart shattered and came along a true love so pure and sweet.

"I have the best fans in the world, gay and straight....
A person is a person."- Colton Haynes on his fans.
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09-25-2012, 01:14 AM
Post: #217
RE: Rants.
(09-24-2012 04:30 PM)puckleberryftwx Wrote:  Had a bad day my cat who was 17 got put to sleep today we knew it was coming because he has arthritis in his back legs and he was slowly losing the ability to walk properly. Then last night me and my mum had noticed his mouth had swollen and we knew it was time to say goodbye so today we said our goodbyes, I've been crying on and off all day. He was my baby boy I've had him since I was four so it's going to be weird for a while.

I wish we could have kept him but it would have been cruel and selfish so it was the best thing for him. I'm just going to miss him like crazy.

I'm sorry :[ I'll be joining in on your pain soon enough. My cat has kidney failure but they can't figure out how or why because she isn't showing too many signs yet. Said it's just her getting old but it's still so sad. I've lost a few kitties over the years and it never gets any easier saying goodbye.

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09-26-2012, 06:25 AM
Post: #218
RE: Rants.
(09-24-2012 06:29 PM)teamnoelftw. Wrote:  Aw, I'm so sorry. D:

At least you know he'll be in a better place where he can play all day. My thoughts to you.

Yeah I know the lump in his mouth was a tumour so it definitely was the right thing to do

(09-25-2012 01:14 AM)Stephanie Wrote:  I'm sorry :[ I'll be joining in on your pain soon enough. My cat has kidney failure but they can't figure out how or why because she isn't showing too many signs yet. Said it's just her getting old but it's still so sad. I've lost a few kitties over the years and it never gets any easier saying goodbye.

I've lost two cats, one when I was 15 she had a tumour in her lungs and now this cat at 21. I have lost a lot of animals but it's the fact I can't remember life without him so it's hard but I have my boyfriend and my family to be there for me

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09-26-2012, 01:55 PM (This post was last modified: 09-26-2012 01:55 PM by BEE..)
Post: #219
RE: Rants.
(09-24-2012 04:30 PM)puckleberryftwx Wrote:  Had a bad day my cat who was 17 got put to sleep today we knew it was coming because he has arthritis in his back legs and he was slowly losing the ability to walk properly. Then last night me and my mum had noticed his mouth had swollen and we knew it was time to say goodbye so today we said our goodbyes, I've been crying on and off all day. He was my baby boy I've had him since I was four so it's going to be weird for a while.

I wish we could have kept him but it would have been cruel and selfish so it was the best thing for him. I'm just going to miss him like crazy.
Aw, I'm really sorry ): I'm here if you ever need to talk. I went through the same thing 3 years ago but with my dog.

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10-02-2012, 10:21 AM
Post: #220
RE: Rants.
I had my first day of work at a new job today. It's the fast food industry, which I don't really mind, because it's fast-paced which means that the shifts go by really fast--which I like! And I was so nervous for it that I couldn't even catch any sleep last night.

Long story short...I didn't even last two hours working fries/hashbrowns before I felt like I was going to faint. It also felt like I was having a panic attack, and ugh, I'm so upset with myself! I know I can do better. I know I could've handled it if I hadn't not slept last night and I'm so mad right now. I probably made a horrible first impression on my co-workers and managers and I just feel like this is just a way of me inadvertently telling them that I can't handle longer shifts (my shift was only five hours today) and I know I can!

Rationally, I know it's not my fault, but I'm still really upset with myself. I just...feel really disappointed. I know I could've done better. I was looking forward to today too, and I didn't even get to complete my shift! :(

Moral of this story: I should not be above drugging myself with benadryl in order to sleep so I don't pass out at work on my first day. :P

i like that you're a mess, that's what makes you real
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