Rants. - Printable Version
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RE: Rants. - puckleberryftwx - 05-02-2013 04:55 AM
(05-02-2013 03:15 AM)Stephanie Wrote: Oh lord. Sounds like she's got some issues. It's normal to kinda hang out most of the time with ur bf but if u have other friends it's important not to get so lost in that guy that u can't see straight. I sadly don't have that problem because all of my friends are busy, pregnant, married and off in lala land or have a few kids and they don't have time for "hanging out". I have a friend who just kinda fell off the face of this planet a few yrs ago. I tried inviting her to see me and hang out a few months ago and she completely blew me off saying she was "Sooooo busy" and could only meet at 8am for coffee. Told her to forget it and I would see her when she had more time. Turns out she wasn't busy....she just had "better" friends to hang out with who were more "cultured" than me. Hurts pretty bad. I've been with Michael for nearly 2 1/2 years and she's never met him let alone seen me since we graduated HS. I honestly wanted her in my wedding but now it's like we don't even know each other we're so different and far away. She lives in freaking Hawaii now. Before she was interning in Germany.Yeah she has issues. I know its normal as I love to hang out with my boyfriend all the time but I always make time for my friends, like if I was planning on hanging out with him and then a friend invites me for lunch then I will try and make it work so I can hang out with both of them. But this so called friend is worse than yours as she normally used to cancel the morning that we were meeting up, saying she forgot shes got to babysit and stuff like that. Shes met my boyfriend twice for about five seconds. and she wasnt going to be in my wedding (me and my boyfriend say that we are engaged without the ring lol) but i was going to invite her to it, now I wont even bother. so yeah its kinda nice that someone knows how I feel.
RE: Rants. - mariahh. - 05-03-2013 05:53 PM
im so crabby right now, like i honestly hate when people change their minds and plans every two seconds and at the very last minute. i hate cancelling plans its so embarrassing, unless there is a legitimate reason you shouldn't be cancelling plans or have made them just to cancel.
RE: Rants. - Stephanie - 05-06-2013 02:35 AM
(05-03-2013 05:53 PM)mariahh. Wrote: im so crabby right now, like i honestly hate when people change their minds and plans every two seconds and at the very last minute. i hate cancelling plans its so embarrassing, unless there is a legitimate reason you shouldn't be cancelling plans or have made them just to cancel.
I can't stand it when people do that. Makes me feel like they just don't care and are too scattered and immature to be a true friend.
RE: Rants. - puckleberryftwx - 06-20-2013 10:24 AM
Right so I've said this before but god my ex best friend is not a nice person! She gets back in contact with my best friend and arranged to meet up with her when she came down last weekend, my best friend arranged to meet me first and then my ex best friend after she finishes work so me and my best friend we're having lunch and then she texts her saying that work is too busy and she won't get out at two and that she will meet her the next time she's down. I'm sorry but I don't really care if work is too busy she could have arranged another time that day to meet up! My ex best friend let my best friend down again, she was really really upset. And I know for a fact that my best friend isn't going to bother even telling her when she's next down, there's no point when she's being let down all the time. I gave up on her a long time ago.
The other thing is I really really hate it when the person I love more than anything in this world is hurting and I can't do a thing about it! It hurts me that I cant do anything
RE: Rants. - mariahh. - 07-24-2013 12:19 PM
I feel extremely heartbroken right now when I know I shouldn't be
RE: Rants. - Stephanie - 07-24-2013 10:18 PM
(07-24-2013 12:19 PM)mariahh. Wrote: I feel extremely heartbroken right now when I know I shouldn't be
I'm actually kinda mad at my old best friend. She and I were friends for years from like 6th-12th grade. We graduated HS and it's normal to grow apart sorta but we never went to the same HS so it made no sense to grow apart. She now just graduated from an "actual" college according to her mom and moved to Hawaii for a teaching job. She randomly starts dating someone is already engaged when I had no idea she even had a bf because she doesn't talk to me when I try talking to her. I text her one time and the only time she could hang out while in town was at 8am and I wasn't going to do that so we haven't seen each other in years. I'm about ready to give up on the friendship because it's clear I'm not an important factor in her life anymore.
RE: Rants. - Londonlipton - 07-25-2013 12:47 PM
That's like my ex-best friend.
I went to University and she visited nearly every weekend of my 1st year because she was at home in Manchester,taking a "gap year". We've known each other since we were 7. (we are both now 24). On my 20th birthday I had a party, we had already arranged with her Mum that one of my relatives would walk her home after the party as there house was just past hers. She was texting a guy from college all night ( a guy who hadn't paid her any attention at all until her dad came back in to her life,it turns out that the guys dad is best friends with my friends dad. My best friends dad is from a strict Muslim family,who still believe in arranged marriages). Anyway she was texting him all night and we got drunk like you do (my mum makes lethal cocktails) and then she chucks her phone at me and says give him your postcode. So this guy asks for my postcode and says he is coming to pick her up as she is out late and drunk and it's not appropriate. It was 10pm and we'd told her Mum she wouldn't be home till about 2AM and her mum really wasn't bothered what time she got in because it was my party and someone was walking her home. Anyway this guy turns up and she goes with him, and they go to blackpool and then she gets home for 2am,and she has the cheek to tell her Mum that my aunty walked her home. And then the next day she facebooks about what a great night she had with him. Then when my family tagged her in the pics from my party she untagged herself,when I asked her why she said,because she was drunk and she didn't want them on her profile,she has tons if drunk pics on there. Anyway I go back to Uni,and she never comes up to see me,we arrange it and she cancels last minute,same when I went home to visit. So it gets to her birthday I leave a gift at her Mums for her,and her mum says she never sees her now because she is at her dads or with the guy. She decides to go to the same uni the guy is at and do business.....she was down to do dance, but changed because the guy does eccomonics and business is more respectable. So it gets to like 9 months without me seeing her,and just talking on the phone. When it hits a year I am on holiday and get a text off my cousin asking who the cute baby is on my friends fb, it turns out it's HER baby,she had a baby and didn't even tell me. And I know for a fact that for her birthday which was a MONTH before her baby was born,she went out with her Mum and Gran and her cousins and she got drunk....like totally wasted. According to her Mum she didn't even know she was pregnant. Anyway when I get back,I ask to meet up and say I have a gift for the baby,she ignores me. We finally meet up a whole YEAR later,again conversations over the phone and her cancelling plans. So we meet for lunch & she lies about her job and she doesn't even bring her daughter. It was all me,me,me. She never once asked how I was,or what I was doing once I graduated. She tells everyone we know that we are still best friends. I see my friends from Uni more and they all live two hours away.
RE: Rants. - Stephanie - 07-26-2013 04:08 PM
(07-25-2013 12:47 PM)Londonlipton Wrote: ^^^^^^^^^^^^
Wow....that puts my story to shame. THAT'S HORRIBLE!
I guess I really am a jealous person but I think it's warranted in this situation with her because she now has all of these friends and people she knows that are like artsy and athletic. She is trying to find herself and it hurts because she's been doing this finding herself crap since she was 13. It's time to FIND YOURSELF and stick to that person to some degree. I'm pretty much the same person give or take that I've always been. Maybe I'm a little more open and free and happy but for her it's like she changes her entire look and personality every 2-4 yrs. Our friends always said that of the 4 of us I'd be the first to lose my virginity and the first to get married and the first to be successful. Turns out I'm the last for all of these things. 1 of them is married and has been for years. The other two are both either a banker or graduated from college and actually planning her wedding. Here's me.....sitting in the same place in college.....taking the same repeat classes.....dreaming about the same stupid wedding. I know mine will be better because we'll have time to actually make it perfect for us....but it's still hard to swallow that I'm now the unsuccessful one of that group.
RE: Rants. - mariahh. - 07-27-2013 01:34 AM
I met this guy through my Miss Teen stuff, and I knew I shouldn't have gotten involved more than professionally. He told me he was interested in me, but was afraid to start to because he didn't know if I would give him the time of day, since we work together for miss teen stuff, and so I hesitated and told him that i wanted to be professional and was scared it'd be bad or awkward if it were to end horribly, or if one of us got hurt (mostly if I got hurt..)
anyways after a few months of working together, i began to fall for him. he was pursuing me hardcore, and I admit i liked the attention, (i recently a few months before this got out of a terrible relationship that he would call me a b ALL the time, but that's another story) I told him i started to like him, and so he did ask me to be his girlfriend,
here is where it begins.
for one, i am not one to get mad over something on Facebook, but he still had his ex girlfriend listed as his currently girlfriend even though she changed hers to single when they broke up? so I'm not even sure how that was an option. ANYWAYS, yeah. so after he asked me to be his girlfriend we hung out outside of miss teen events, and it was a good time, but then he started to treat me differently after we fooled around once? i felt crappy after that time because i felt "easy". i'm not one to do things right off the bat AT ALL, and it takes time, because that type of stuff means a lot to me i guess. (i didn't sleep with him at this point)
couple more times we hung out, we slept together, and it was my first time. he knew it was, and then didn't call or text me for four days after that.. the next time i saw/talked to him was at an event we had together... and to my surprise, he brought his new GIRLFRIEND to my event, to sit on my stage. and kissed in front of me. His best friend who was also there, told me they started dating the day we slept together (his friend didn't know we did, but he told me when they started dating and it was a coincidence)
so that's where the biggest break for me was.
then, they broke up after a month, and we started to talk again, and he invited me up to his cabin, but i couldn't go because of work obligations, then he came back home and i snuck out of my house (which im not a rebel AT ALL) to see him, and what happened? stuff, so he hasn't texted me since.
obvioulsy i was never anything more to him than a hook up. I made myself too easy, and It makes me really sad it was like that. i dont regret it because id ont believe in regretting something you once wanted, but i wish i did it differently.
i wish i meant more to him, and i dont know what to do. i know i should move on and forget about him, but easier said than done.
theres soemthing about him, that makes me feel powerless and not in control and i HATE that feeling. I usually am ALWAYS controlling (i know it can be a bad trait) but with him i can't say no, and at that moment, it feels right, but after i feel crappy.
RE: Rants. - Stephanie - 07-27-2013 04:57 AM
(07-27-2013 01:34 AM)mariahh. Wrote: I met this guy through my Miss Teen stuff, and I knew I shouldn't have gotten involved more than professionally. He told me he was interested in me, but was afraid to start to because he didn't know if I would give him the time of day, since we work together for miss teen stuff, and so I hesitated and told him that i wanted to be professional and was scared it'd be bad or awkward if it were to end horribly, or if one of us got hurt (mostly if I got hurt..)
I'm sorry to say but he doesn't sound like a real winner and it's good u are figuring this out now instead of getting involved deeper and getting hurt. We all go through that feeling of being helpless and unable to say no. I went through that too when I was with my ex. He would play me for a fool saying he loved me and would find me at work and tell me he wanted back together.....then the next day he would act like I didn't exist. It really took until I found my fiance to really get my head on straight. Guys have a way of messing with our minds and making us think it's what we deserve.
I was watching The Perks of Being a Wallflower the other night and it's true what they say, we always love the wrong person because we allow ourselves to believe that's all we're worth. We always go for the guy that we know won't be able to hurt us as deeply because it will always be a shallow relationship that if it gets ugly we can blame them and then ourselves for just being us and falling for that "type."
I'm here to tell ya that it's not even about finding the perfect man or the perfect person. It's about finding what is perfect for you. If you settle for less than you deserve that's all you will ever get. Find a man who you can argue with but who wants you around just as much if not more than you do. Find someone who is different and isn't the usual type. Go out looking for a man who is also looking for forever. You don't go into it assuming it's going to work out forever, but you want someone who's willing to make it work even if you're mad at each other. Find someone that you can build trust with. Someone that even if you say the worst things to each other sometimes, u can't imagine not falling asleep next to them and ACTUALLY sleeping. It has to be a relationship built on love and trust and being together with the sex intermixed into the relationship.
Michael and I didn't sleep together until 7 months after we got together. This wasn't easy and it was my first time (and he's been married before) but it let me see that he's going to want me around even after the sex isn't as "good". He's still going to love me when I'm pregnant and not in the mood for sex. He's going to love me when we have children and when we get married. He's going to love me through the good and the bad times. It doesn't matter if he is stubborn and drives me up the wall with his moodiness and short fuse after he works 14 hr days all week; I still love him even if I don't always show it the best. It's been close to three years and it's hard when all you want to do is get the money, get the job and settle down. It's never easy but you have to find someone who you feel needs you in his life just as much as you need him. It's horrible to say but sometimes you need to have the feeling that you did TOO good for yourself and you do not and will never deserve him. If he feels the same way about you, then he's a keeper. If once he finds you, ur all that he sees and all that he cares to protect, then he's a keeper.
It might take years to find this guy for you....and he might not be what you'd expect but he'll be exactly what you need in your life. This chump with the many ladies does not sound like he's worth it. People think I'm nuts for making Michael wait for 7 months but it was the best choice I ever made. I'm not gonna lie and say he was happy about it but I had to know he was really in love with me and not just my body. No man who doesn't love you will stick around for THAT long just to get a piece. It worked for me but that's always a case by case situations. Everyone is different but just move on from this experience and try not to be too hard on yourself. It's a learning experience and it could have become a lot worse. Know that he's beneath you and it'll make getting over him a lot easier.