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RE: 21 or Older and Mature thread - Londonlipton - 10-13-2011 03:47 PM

A friend of mine asked for some advice earlier.
Her bf who she has been with for nearly 2 years refuses to go out socially with her. He only goes out for special occasions. He refuses as he says going out with her is boring. He goes out with friends,and they invite my friend and he tells her he doesn't want her to go as it's a guys thing. Then later she finds out that his friends girl friends were there. My friend asked me if I thought she was being paranoid about it all,as he has just moved in to a new flat,and has been out with his new flatmates 4 out of the 7 days he has been there,she spent the weekend there and the flatmates asked them to come out and her bf said no.The day she left he went out with them. When she gets upset and brings it up with him,he tells her she is over reacting and being weird.

I told her I thought she had every right to over react and should ask him what his problem was.

What do you guys think?


RE: 21 or Older and Mature thread - Peace - 10-13-2011 05:29 PM

I have to say that, most of what we say is about our daily lives here. I don't know how to answer what all of you want b/c there are different sides to all of these stories. I think there is an advise thread for this. Some of us here are beyond what you are asking to be honest. And this is me personally. I would have to have all details and that's about all. I don't want to give advice b/c I have my own son to deal with. Maybe one of the other moms can answer these questions for you. Sorry
Don't be sorry, but you can't expect some of us to understand everything here. If we could give advice, we will, me personally, I can't b/c I don't know the other person and I try to stay out of things. We basically talk of our daily lives and being parents and jobs. I'm not used to this type of question so maybe I was wrong to answer this. May I ask how old you are?



(10-13-2011 03:42 PM)lashay12 Wrote:  well am sorry too. am sorry i ever bared my soul on here. i knew certain people wouldn't understand anyway. and if it wasn't for my love for zac. i would leave but AM GOING TO stick around to support him and not give a shit about what anyone says or think about me. that's my solution. so thanks for your help i appreciate it.Angry[hr i bet if i was zac you know what to say then would you? BOY I TELL YOU LIFE is a bitch when your not a celebrity or have money or good looking. the world is so cruel and people treat you real differently when you don't look a certain way. boy if i have the money i would change myself into zac or vanessa. because i hate being me right now but if course some people dont care so whatever. I JUST CRAWL UNDER A DAMN ROCK AND DIE.
(10-13-2011 03:29 PM)Peace Wrote:  I don't know what to say about things like that. We don't know what is happening between the two of you and there are three sides to every story. sorry



RE: 21 or Older and Mature thread - Stephanie - 10-16-2011 03:23 AM

(10-13-2011 10:30 AM)lashay12 Wrote:  i feel as though a certain person dont want me on this forum because she always start stuff with me. maybe i should just leave. =(

Naw just ignore the person. It gets better.

(10-13-2011 03:47 PM)Londonlipton Wrote:  A friend of mine asked for some advice earlier.
Her bf who she has been with for nearly 2 years refuses to go out socially with her. He only goes out for special occasions. He refuses as he says going out with her is boring. He goes out with friends,and they invite my friend and he tells her he doesn't want her to go as it's a guys thing. Then later she finds out that his friends girl friends were there. My friend asked me if I thought she was being paranoid about it all,as he has just moved in to a new flat,and has been out with his new flatmates 4 out of the 7 days he has been there,she spent the weekend there and the flatmates asked them to come out and her bf said no.The day she left he went out with them. When she gets upset and brings it up with him,he tells her she is over reacting and being weird.

I told her I thought she had every right to over react and should ask him what his problem was.

What do you guys think?

Honestly....I don't know the two people so I can't say one way or another what should really happen, but if ur friend has been with this guy for you said two yrs right? That's about the time people start to realize their differences...well u usually figure that out pretty soon in the relationship, but after the "honeymoon" stage of the relationship happens sometimes people just don't want to stay together. Relationships are hard work and I'm not saying that people shouldn't try to make things work because they really should.....but it shouldn't be a constant struggle for your friend to make herself happy. It sounds like the bf doesn't really want her around and that does seem fishy. If I were her friend I'd tell her to talk to her bf and see where it goes. There maybe a valid reason or it could be that he's just finding excuses to leave her. Either way your friend deserves more than a bf who doesn't want to be seen with her.

(10-14-2011 03:29 PM)lashay12 Wrote:  okay fair enough it doesn't matter either way. unemployment + being fat and disabled = being on your own and people not giving a shit. and i wasn't asking anyone to get involved in anything. but its okay i understand how things work around here. am used to being second best anyway. this is the wrong place to vent. if i want to vent i will find another place to do it. sorry if i inconvenienced all the employed mothers with perfect lives. and you don't have to reply to me anymore. as you said i cant "expect people to understand " and i wont for now on. because i know am on my own anyway. i came into this world alone and i will leave it the same way. i just have to get used to the fact that people don't want to hear or care to hear my problems because they got their own issues to deal with. i can live with that no big deal. ( shrugs shoulders) so carry on with your daily conversations about work , motherhood, and other happy things. things that i cant never become anyway because am always being rejected. but its okay I've grown accustom to that too it comes with the territory with being an overweight woman of color ( am not accusing you of being prejudice btw). i mean i don't have a job or any hope for having one anyway. and am not looking for any advice here BTW, because i know i wont get it here unless am an employed mother.

To be honest with you, I feel sorry for how you feel. It sucks coming on here and trying to find someone to listen. This place is a good one for venting and getting out your sadness but I realized something over the yrs I've been on this forum. Sometimes you just have to get off the computer and venture out into the real world. The people here on this forum are great for added support but I think what u really need is to get out there and meet people. Try to work and seek out others who u want to be like. I'm sure if u do this you're gonna be happier. Your self image improves when you have a social life.

This might seem kinda mean and I don't want u to in anyway get upset....but u seem to be seeking pity almost and that's not what u truly want. Being a marytar in the end isn't going to get u anywhere. Everyone has responsibilities outside of this forum so smile and remember that nothing is as bad as you feel they are :] ....most of the time.


[Image: Santa-Claus-A.jpg]


RE: 21 or Older and Mature thread - Peace - 10-16-2011 06:23 PM

well another day and it has been busy. church and just doing the mom thing and it has been raining. We are going to be busy b/c now my son gets tutored three times a week and then cooking club. And we are going to be having a uniform sale which I organize. lots to do. HOpe all is well with everyone.


RE: 21 or Older and Mature thread - leftbehind. - 10-22-2011 06:03 PM

Hey there.
Hm, I'm 20 this month, but I wanna chat in this thread.
Pretty please? (:


RE: 21 or Older and Mature thread - Stephanie - 10-23-2011 04:32 PM

anyone can as long as they don't cause issues in here :]


RE: 21 or Older and Mature thread - Peace - 10-23-2011 04:48 PM

;you can talk, but we don't gossip here, or bring hard issues here. We are supporters, moms , college students and on and on. We talk about our daily lives pretty much. Nothing about boys and such. We are here for one another and such. Some of us have more than 1 child or don't have children. WE talk about college life and jobs. That's the type of thread this is. Anyone is welcome, but we don't always have answers for everyone. We don't always give advice to give you an idea of this thread. It's not that we don't care, but that's on another area of the forum. Welcome to our thread



(10-22-2011 06:03 PM)leftbehind. Wrote:  Hey there.
Hm, I'm 20 this month, but I wanna chat in this thread.
Pretty please? (:



RE: 21 or Older and Mature thread - leftbehind. - 10-26-2011 02:15 AM

Tbh, I don't particularly like 'gossip' I like more mature conversations and such.
Smile

& me and my partner are trying for a baby, (long story - my fertility is in question & i so badly want a child myself that i just feel i need to try).

so, yeah - i think i qualify LOL

how is everyone?

just got up for work.
i'm so bad at getting up though, like, seriously.
I was awake around 6, fell back to sleep, my alarm went off at 7 and i snoozed it till 8 .. LOL

I only went for the interview for this job yesterday and they rang me back a couple of hours later offering me the job - gotta go in today to start my crb check and stuff.
exciting!


RE: 21 or Older and Mature thread - Stephanie - 10-27-2011 05:25 PM

(10-26-2011 02:15 AM)leftbehind. Wrote:  Tbh, I don't particularly like 'gossip' I like more mature conversations and such.
Smile

& me and my partner are trying for a baby, (long story - my fertility is in question & i so badly want a child myself that i just feel i need to try).

so, yeah - i think i qualify LOL

how is everyone?

just got up for work.
i'm so bad at getting up though, like, seriously.
I was awake around 6, fell back to sleep, my alarm went off at 7 and i snoozed it till 8 .. LOL

I only went for the interview for this job yesterday and they rang me back a couple of hours later offering me the job - gotta go in today to start my crb check and stuff.
exciting!

What kind of job is it? That sounds awesome. I love when jobs call u quickly after interviews and tell u so ur not stuck having to worry for a week or two. I'm HORRIBLE at getting up for school. My bf comes and gets me and I have my alarm set for 7:45 but I end up sleeping sometimes till 8 or 8:06 ....and my bf gets so mad if he leaves to head home and shower only to find me dragging my butt to get my cereal and it's 8:45 when we're supposed to start class at 9 lol.

Aww that's really awesome ur wanting to have a baby. Hopefully it'll be something I'll be able to do in a few years. I'm still pretty young so I'm not hurrying to but my bf is 26 so he's a little more willing to agree that a baby would be amazing no matter the timing. I just want to finish college and have my nursing job before I try to ....but I want whatever to happen to just happen. If it turns out ur not able to have a baby on ur own...will you adopt?


RE: 21 or Older and Mature thread - Stephanie - 10-29-2011 04:12 PM

(10-27-2011 05:59 PM)lashay12 Wrote:  well maybe your more liked then i am. i never get a job that quickly in fact i get more rejection then anything but its fine.Undecided

Let just be happy for her.
I've never had a job I liked or liked me so ur not the only one who has experienced rejection in the field of a job. Believe me.