online relationships & parents. IMMEDIATE HELP!!!!

[circleoflaughs.]

okay so heres the whole story:
i met this boy, Jason, online. we got to know each other and we've really clicked. i dated him and my mom found out. She was fine with it for awhile and one day watching dr. phil she asked for his address and he didnt give it (b/c he was afraid, i mean do u blame the guy?!). So my mom made me leave him. Well its been about two weeks and last night we were talking and we decided to get back together if my mom approved. So i asked her if he gave his address now, could we get back together? She said no and that the deal was up. I didnt think that was fair but i didnt argue and we are dating now anyway (we got back together last night). Im so terrified she'll find out but i wanna be with him. I know for a fact hes not a predator. Ive talked to him on the phone and enough times to know hes not. What do I do? Like i said, I wanna be with him but i dont want to disobey my mom. :/

ANY help is appreciated.

[circleoflaughs.]

bump plz

[Jordann]

have you ever met him? how far does he live?

[InnocentlyClumsy]

Well idk Sara I talked to u about it and frankly if ur mom isn't happy there isn't much u can do.

If she was my mom you wouldn't be having this problem because when my mom found out I was talking to John she didn't care a whole lot. Thing is we didn't date so it's a different story.

Anyway I'm kinda sour on the online dating subject ....and the subject with mom's getting involved in relationships that don't concern them....but ur mom means well.
Maybe if u were my age she'd feel differently?

[sexkitten.]

you could get a real bf

[InnocentlyClumsy]

^That's what everyone said to me when I was freaking over John
but the thing is it doesn't matter if it's online or in person, the feelings are the same.
Probably even stronger online cause u can't have that close contact that u get when ur face to face with the person.



.....and when they prove to me exactly WHY they are the opposite of the female race, it makes it hard not having them there to beat over the head with ur high heel shoe and computer monitor.

[circleoflaughs.]

have you ever met him? how far does he live?
texas


Well idk Sara I talked to u about it and frankly if ur mom isn't happy there isn't much u can do.

If she was my mom you wouldn't be having this problem because when my mom found out I was talking to John she didn't care a whole lot. Thing is we didn't date so it's a different story.

Anyway I'm kinda sour on the online dating subject ....and the subject with mom's getting involved in relationships that don't concern them....but ur mom means well.
Maybe if u were my age she'd feel differently?
idk.



^That's what everyone said to me when I was freaking over John
but the thing is it doesn't matter if it's online or in person, the feelings are the same.
Probably even stronger online cause u can't have that close contact that u get when ur face to face with the person.



.....and when they prove to me exactly WHY they are the opposite of the female race, it makes it hard not having them there to beat over the head with ur high heel shoe and computer monitor.
true.

[TINKERBELL]

Your mother is just looking out for you.

[circleoflaughs.]

yeah i know and i appreciate it but ik this is wht i wanna do.

[weareoxygen]

no offense to you, but this is a personal opinion; i find online dating
so goddamn stupid. its hard enough to have a long distance relationship,
and that is when something solid had been there previously and before the
other moved, or whatever. your mom is just looking out for you. i say find
someone in real life b/c you may be able to talk to him, but you wont get
the same things out of it as you would a real relationship. its just not healthy.
i know this is probably not what you want to hear, but someone has to be
reasonable and say it not only is it dangerous, but you are getting yourself
worked up over someone who you may never meet, or may never be able to
have a normal relationship with.

one of my friends was talking and webcamming with this kid she met on some
band forum, and they talked for six months, and it turned out that he had a
real girlfriend the entire time. she was heartbroken and it was just dumb b/c
she had never even met the kid.

idk. i just think its a waste of time.

[betterintime.]

no offense to you, but this is a personal opinion; i find online dating
so goddamn stupid. its hard enough to have a long distance relationship,
and that is when something solid had been there previously and before the
other moved, or whatever. your mom is just looking out for you. i say find
someone in real life b/c you may be able to talk to him, but you wont get
the same things out of it as you would a real relationship. its just not healthy.
i know this is probably not what you want to hear, but someone has to be
reasonable and say it not only is it dangerous, but you are getting yourself
worked up over someone who you may never meet, or may never be able to
have a normal relationship with.

one of my friends was talking and webcamming with this kid she met on some
band forum, and they talked for six months, and it turned out that he had a
real girlfriend the entire time. she was heartbroken and it was just dumb b/c
she had never even met the kid.

idk. i just think its a waste of time.

ah, you just saved me from typing a whole paragraph.
i second that.

you don't get anything from online relationships.

[ELISETARD]

i agree with them^
i find online dating really stupid.
when people date each other on this
forum, i laugh. hard.

[InnocentlyClumsy]

I don't believe unless you've been in one u can say anything....I'm sorry but it's the truth.
Yes...it may or may not be safe or smart or whatever but I find it extremely rude how easily people put other people down on this site.
It's no different than me saying "oh well sex isn't that amazing."
I'm HEARD it's not amazing but have I had personal experience with a guy? No cause im a virgin.
Can you say "Oh having a baby isn't a horrible as people make it out to see." Well no unless ur a teen mom.

People are so quick to judge, I'm just as bad but I'm trying to work on that and it's hard to when the rest of this world tries to bring other people down.
Obviously she's going through a hard time and wanted to know what to do, and this is a very touchy subject for me. Yes....I never actually had a relationship over this forum that was official, but I find it extremely rude how some people assume they understand online relationships when they don't and try to tell people how it is.

If u have then I'm not talking to u, so don't comment saying "Stephanie ur wrong...I've been there." cause frankly idc really, I just don't think some AND I SAID SOME people quite understand that feelings online, at school, or if you live in the same house, are going to feel the same for the person.

People can claim it's stupid but I'm sure there is a lot of stuff people do on this forum that I'd find pretty stupid myself, but because u get it, it's not stupid to you.

Don't judge unless you have had ur heart broken online. Even if it's not a Quote "Real" relationship to some people, it hurt like heck when you spend 3 straight weeks crying and everytime u talk to that person u think "WTF is wrong with u? Why can't u just be mature about it and not ignore me and act like a human."


This is my rant. U don't agree don't bash cause it's stupid to argue ur point. I'm not gonna change my mind. Maybe it's closed minded but I have a full year of reasons I will show anyone who cares to, about how crushing/dating/liking/obsessing whatever u wanna call it online can change your life forever and make you realize how hard it can be.


U wanna no my opinion, DON'T DATE ONLINE....
Simple as that, but it's not cause it's unsafe, dangerous or just plain stupid......

it's cause u will be affected by the things that person who claimed you mattered to them and they'd always protect you, does when they one day decide it's not worth it. Eventually you are able to move on and get over it....but everyday u are reminded probably more than if the person went to your school because u have ACTUAL writing and proof that is really is over when that person one day just up and forgets about you completely.

_____________________________________
So I'm with everyone who says don't date online, but difference is I get it. I've felt the pain and I know exactly what it feels like...and personally I think it is some of the worst emotional pain you will ever feel because u can't do anything about it when they live 20000000 miles away.

[weareoxygen]

I think it is unfair to say that just because we havent experienced it first
hand that our OPINIONS (keyword: opinions) dont matter. I may have
never been in an online romantic relationship, but I have met friends on
websites, some who I am closer to than most of my real friends. And
while I am so glad that I have talked to them, at the same time, I hate
myself for it because I know for a fact that we will never have what my
best friend and I have because to me, they are just a text message, or
a lj comment or someone on the other end of the computer. We will
never be able to meet because one lives in Argentina, the other in England
and the other in Australia. And while it may be comforting to chat with
them online, if I need comfort, they cant be there for me like my real
friends can, even though I know that they would be if they could.

I just know what it is like to set yourself up for dissapointment. I think most
of the people on this forum know, as well.

So please dont tell me that my opinion doesnt count for anything. I know that
I may not have been through the same thing as you, but I wasnt judging her at
all. I just said that I think that online dating is dumb. Not the people who do it.
I am no one to judge people for what they do.

[Great Expectations]

most can't even hold a long distance
relationship so online dating is twice
as hard.

i mean- if i met someone i lked
online and was allowed to date him,
by all means i would -
but when my mom said no, i'd listen.

[circleoflaughs.]

true to everyone. ik its dangerous and im super cautious with him.
the only really part i find stupid is tht she didnt keep her end of the deal

[KAYBUG.]

ekhm, well not to sound rude
but thats what you should do;
get a life outside of internet and
find yourself a real boyfriend.

[contagious.]

welllll.
i don't think it's stupid,
cause i've been there.
so i know how you feel.
but like some people said,
i really think you should
get a real boyfriend.
they're waaay better. (;

[zefron501]

online relationships dont workout...
i agree with the other people find a real
boyfriend, one u can go on dates with and
get to know face to face instead of just talking
thru the internet or phone.

[InnocentlyClumsy]

welllll.
i don't think it's stupid,
cause i've been there.
so i know how you feel.
but like some people said,
i really think you should
get a real boyfriend.
they're waaay better. (;

Bri my love just the person I was thinking of haha.
I think u get it.
Online it's great for a while....
but it is true, real life is better.
Just still doesn't change how u feel, and other people can't put that down.
Not that u are, just saying lmao.

[down to earth]

i agree with them^
i find online dating really stupid.
when people date each other on this
forum, i laugh. hard.
i agreee. no offense.

[ok go.]

online relationships dont workout...
i agree with the other people find a real
boyfriend, one u can go on dates with and
get to know face to face instead of just talking
thru the internet or phone.

agreed.
especially when you're young.
to me, going out on dates
and actually seeing this person
is alot better than just talking
through aim or facebook
or something.

[contagious.]

Bri my love just the person I was thinking of haha.
I think u get it.
Online it's great for a while....
but it is true, real life is better.
Just still doesn't change how u feel, and other people can't put that down.
Not that u are, just saying lmao.
yeah, at first it's amazing.
and then you realize that
you'll never see the person.
it only brings heartache.
like, worse heartache than
a real relationship.
at least it did for me, because
the person wasn't there to comfort
me when i felt terrible.

[InnocentlyClumsy]

yeah, at first it's amazing.
and then you realize that
you'll never see the person.
it only brings heartache.
like, worse heartache than
a real relationship.
at least it did for me, because
the person wasn't there to comfort
me when i felt terrible.

Exactly and even though our situations are completely different,
u remember how I was last like January or something right?
Dear God I hadn't felt that lost since I was 14 and my ex's mom broke up with me over the phone lmao.
....and it's funny cause the hurt never really goes away, for me at least.
It's harder cause u can't do anything about it when they become hungry for power over u.

[contagious.]

yeah. i know what you mean.
it's been like 2 years for me.
since my first one,
and i'm good friends with that person.
or, "internet buddies." or whatever
the hell you wanna call it.
the weird thing is, sometimes,
online, we meet people who
change our lives forever.
without even lying a hand on them.
& i agree with the power thing too.

[InnocentlyClumsy]

I didn't think it just affected me
obviously it affects all of us on this forum.
I sometimes wonder why it didn't work out.
Funny though I don't regret it for one second.
...and sadly I don't regret him ahha and then I do......
"I would doooo it all again...just want you to know..."
BSB are good for those things :p

[circleoflaughs.]

thanks for the advice everyone (:

[contagious.]

I didn't think it just affected me
obviously it affects all of us on this forum.
I sometimes wonder why it didn't work out.
Funny though I don't regret it for one second.
...and sadly I don't regret him ahha and then I do......
"I would doooo it all again...just want you to know..."
BSB are good for those things :p
i don't regret mine eitherr.

[InnocentlyClumsy]

^People can say what they want but....it's always fun until it ends lmao.

.....but I wouldn't do it again with just anyone....
and for me I'm happy with waiting until after graduation to date anyone.
Too much trouble to try to please another person atm.
I have trouble pleasing myself haha.
Plus the guys are dogs.

[white demon]

i've been through that.
he was and still probably is
one of my best friends.
even though we are 23 hours away from eachother it just felt so...idk, it just felt like...honest.
we were supposed to meet in december but that didn't happen
and i was heartbroken
and something happened months after that and i was sat there crying for at least 3 hours.

but...like steph and bri said i would never regret it.

[InnocentlyClumsy]

^Sounds like John and I haha.
We talked about stuff but nothing was ever set.
I just started becoming whinny and clingy [idk how I can manage online haha]
and he got sick and tired of my complaining and wanting to fight.
Then he said some stuff that I probably shouldn't have heard and the truth came out about how some of the people on zef really feel about me behind the scenes.
So truthfully it's not the members of the site that made me angry and bitter, it's what John said that really made me take a look at myself and I realized that I've been pushed around way too much and it's time for the site to see the steph that doesn't hold back.

[DISCO TORI]

boyfriends that you can hug and play around with are the best,
don't disobey your mommy, go out and find a real one. they're pretty sweet.
(:

[circleoflaughs.]

i do. just i kinda like this senior, his name is mike.
but ik im not his type so im like argh.

[InnocentlyClumsy]

^Don't date a senior sara.
IT MAKES ME SOOO mad when the guys my age date frosh.
All it does is makes u look good and the senior look like a douche.
Plus a lot of the senior girls look down upon him cause he can't get a girl his own age.
....and most of them, at least at my school, want sex from the frosh cause they know the senior girls know their tricks and won't put out or they're not virgins and it's not fun having the other guys slopping 19ths.

I'd stick an almost 19 year old english uni man on u before I'd ask u to date a senior ahha :]

[weareoxygen]

^Don't date a senior sara.
IT MAKES ME SOOO mad when the guys my age date frosh.
All it does is makes u look good and the senior look like a douche.
Plus a lot of the senior girls look down upon him cause he can't get a girl his own age.
....and most of them, at least at my school, want sex from the frosh cause they know the senior girls know their tricks and won't put out or they're not virgins and it's not fun having the other guys slopping 19ths.

I'd stick an almost 19 year old english uni man on u before I'd ask u to date a senior ahha :]

this.

and all the senior girls will hate you.

[InnocentlyClumsy]

^Haha pretty much......

But I hate most guys who are older because they either want sex or think they are better than any girl younger than them. .

[circleoflaughs.]

well i told him and i said, "told you i wouldnt have a chance" and he said, "True."
so i was right all along.

[InnocentlyClumsy]

^Wow that's horrible.
At least my little game with the "I like someone but idk if I should tell him." thing worked with him being like "I wanna get to know you better too." I mean HELLO that was a total sign ughhh oh well.

[circleoflaughs.]

yeah i guess.