sleeping over.

[alyssa leigh.]

this isn't really an advice thread,
it's more of an opinion, i guess.
but here it is.

for valentine's day, my step-dad wants to have
the house to himself and my mom. so he asked
me to find somewhere to stay for the night. he's
having my sister stay over my grandma's house,
and my other sister is going to be in canada.

so i was talking to my boyfriend, and i was like,
yeah, i need somewhere to stay. and he said i
could stay with him, as a joke. so we laughed and
i told him to ask his mom, as a joke, because she
doesn't normally like me over their house that often.

he calls me from work and tells me to ask my step-dad
if it's okay for me to stay over his house. i was in shock.
i couldn't even say anything i was so surprised. but i
asked him, and this is what he said:

"i'm inclined to say no. if you were
both 18, it would be different."

i'm 18. he's 17. but his parents said yes! *cries*
i don't think it's fair at all. my parents and his parents
know what we do. (scary thought) and we've never had
sex and don't plan to for a looooong time. we've only been
together for 4 months, so i guess i can kinda see where
he's coming from... but if i don't stay with him, i don't
have anywhere else to go... he said he would talk to my
bf's mom, but my step-dad is the type of person that
doesn't get swayed easily. that's why i hate this. >.<

do you think he's being fair? and do you think there's
anything i can do to maybe get him to change his mind?

thank you for reading that. :] <3
i just realized how long that was.

[pretty strangers.]

yeah i can see where he
gets protective. lol idk
hopefully you can go(:

[alyssa leigh.]

yeah, i can see where he's coming from, too.

ha, thanks. i hope i can go, too. :]

[pretty strangers.]

yuppp.

i know my "dad" wont let me
but then again im not 18. lol

[InnocentlyClumsy]

I'm 18....and my parents won't let me do anything ahah.
Then again I'm single and don't have too many guy friends honestly soooo I haven't really had this issue.
Just see what happens. There's nothing u can do if he honestly says no after talking to ur bfs mom and thinks about it.

[alyssa leigh.]

yeah, his mom is calling my
step-dad sometime this weekend.
i just hope he says okay.

[emily.]

just tell your dad that you understand where he's coming from, but assure him you'll be fine.
[and by fine you mean you won't have sex.]
theres a way to say it without starting an awkward conversation. xD

[broooke.]

you just have to tell him that he can trust you (:
so he feels comfortable.
because he won't be doing it to be harsh, he's just looking out for you.

i hope you can stay (:

[_onmyown]

also remind him that he is the one that wants to have the house to him and your mom and asked you to go somewhere. if you can't go stay over your bf's house then they wont have any "alone time".

and like everyone says, assure him that he can trust you.
make sure and have his mom say that she will make sure you guys sleep in separate rooms.

[InnocentlyClumsy]

^Pshhhh like that's probably really gonna happen ahha.
Just say you'll sleep in separate beds and sleep in some other room.
[I never sleep in my room when I have people over.]
Then in the middle of the night "it got cold" and go with him ahah idk I'm just a dirty little girl :]

[alyssa leigh.]

^^ haha if only it could be like that.
my bf's house is not big at all. him
and his brother share a room, and
they have bunk beds, so there's no
chance in hell i'll be sleeping in the
same room as him. i'll probably be
put in the living room on the couch
or something. besides, his mom is
not the type of person to put us in
the same room alone even when
we're awake! ugh, parents. >.<

[InnocentlyClumsy]

^Ha yeah....my parents are the same way.
Makes me mad though cause it's not like I'm gonna just throw my clothes off or something....
I have more morals than that haha.

[alyssa leigh.]

exactly!
that's what i'm saying to my step-dad.

i was with my previous boyfriend for a year and 4 months.
we never had sex, because i'm not ready for that yet. i'm
waiting til college. but it's like, if you can trust me with
someone older than me (ex-bf was older), then why can't'
you trust me with someone younger than me?! gr parents.

[InnocentlyClumsy]

^My mom actually told me she'd THINK about things if I actually got a serious bf.
I'm like "ehh ok because I'm not dating guys like crazy u don't trust me?"
She's like "Well no it's just that you don't have experience yet with guys."
It's like "Humm ok so I'll get a bf and date him a LONG time and have a baby with him and THEN I can sleep in his bed...haha ok fine."

[pookey09]

i can see where he is being cautious.
you know the hwole you're 18 and he isnt.
it could take one false/ misunderstood move and his parents freak out.
and then the whole sleeping over thing can get dads all tied up in knot.
my dad wont even let my best guy friend who my dad has appointed my "protector"
in my room when we go on vacation... although we stay up all night talking in my room once my dad goes to bed. lol.

[InnocentlyClumsy]

Yeah so when does he turn 18?
Cause if u two made a mistake and did have sex, like honestly if u made his parents mad once they could turn it all around and send u to jail for sex with someone under 18.

It's messed up sheet but my teacher told the story of one of his students that had a gf and they were all fine and stuff. Turns out they had sex and his dad didn't like the kid cause he made him mad so he turned him in and he went to jail for 5 years or something sick.

[alyssa leigh.]

he turns 18 in july. long ways from now.
but i know that i wouldn't have sex. we've
even talked about it, and agreed that we
were going to wait til we were in college,
if we last that long. i don't wanna go to jail!

[annzie]

i can see why he's being protective.
he's just caring about you. (:

but if you do get to stay over at his
house, make the right decisions. (;